Friday 11 December 2009

NSR

No, that's not New Stamps Required (but I wouldn't say no". It's for Not Stamping Related! I have been madly writing and addressing Christmas cards so no time to stamp. This combined with Tim Holtz' 12 Tags of Christmas every day and I am going into agonizing withdrawal. Though I did have the satisfaction of popping cards in the mail yesterday, and the odd-size ones got put directly in the bag before Mr Post whisked them off in his van.


So, in the absence of anything stampy to show you, I thought I would show some other things that I have found either really cool or really funny lately.

If you have 6 minutes and volume on your computer, this will blow you away.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjbpwlqp5Qw&feature=player_embedded#



I've seen some of the following before, but they are good for a belly laugh every time. They remind me of the sign I saw outside a church here once that said (no word of a lie) "Lord save us from evil Psalms" What a difference a carriage return can make, eh, not that signs have carriage returns, but you know what I mean (if you were born before 1980....).

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help..
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.’

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Karen-- I could hardly read the final ones in the list my eyes were so blurry from laughter tears! Nothing like a good laugh to start the day.
    -paperquilter

    ReplyDelete